About once a quarter, I have what could be described as a kind of breakdown. Some of you who attend Evergreen might be disturbed by this phrase but give me a few lines to explain what I mean. Every couple of months I reach a point where I have endured all of the stress, strain and anxiety I can personally handle. These often come in conjunction with certified mail from the IRS, offerings of $127 or that one guy that keeps calling my cell phone on my date night to tell me how my last sermon was un-Biblical. When I’m unfortunate enough to have all of these overlap at the same time then a breakdown is eminent. So I take the time to systematically deposit things on Jesus that I can’t carry on my own anymore.
This last Sunday we had a slightly below average numerical Sunday (58) and an exceptional offering. Some of this is due to the fact that we literally got $127 the week before when the blizzard almost cancelled our Sunday service. So I dropped off a large check for our rent of the school (Washington Elementary), mailed some stuff and, just ran several errands. While driving around I saw that there was a garage sale happening at the former Mautz paint building we are hoping to rent. For the last few week I have been trying to speak to the owners about renting the building for Evergreen. So I stopped in, and spoke with Marie who owns the building with her husband.
Long story short….they signed papers this morning to attempt to sell the building. Marie and I had a good talk and she expressed her disappointment that they will probably not be able to help us out. She will keep me informed about the process that the sale is now undergoing, in the event that financing or other factors prevent the building from changing hands. I climbed in my Jeep with a smile on my face and the confidence that Jesus had some other facility he must want for us more, but I have to confess I was crestfallen. I got home, told Steph (who had been praying fervently for my conversation) and proceeded to wrestle with finances and other difficulties. Steph left shortly after I got home and I decided I needed some face time with my Creator. I told Alex that I was going to go pray for a while and I put on some Deliriou5, took my glasses off and spent some time praying. I have every confidence in the “what and how” of Jesus building Evergreen Church here, but my emotions often don’t track with what Christ is doing quite as well.
As I thought, prayed, praised and cried I eventually realized that I had an expert climber scaling my pantleg and settling in to sing along with me to David Crowder. After a song or 2 Alex said to me “Daddy, can we dance?”. Knowing that in a few years I will not be even sort of cool enough to get a dance with my daughter I always try to take her up on these invitations. So we danced. We danced slow, we danced fast, we laughed and I cried.
It was the best breakdown I’ve ever had. As I swung, swayed and spun my giggling 3 year old, I realized that this picture of me and Alex was just like how Jesus dances with me in his arms. He cries and works and carries the load while I try to remember the words to the song we’re singing together. Thanks Jesus…
